129 Completely Out of Touch Ways to Land a Man.

0:06 Welcome to Strange History. Today. We are going to talk about an article

0:11 that was written in nineteen fifty eight and McCall's magazine. It was compiled by

0:17 sixteen experts, including a marriage counselor, an airline stewardess, a psychologist,

0:24 and a bachelor. It's one hundred and twenty nine ways to get a husband.

0:29 So we're going to start with where to find him? Where would you

0:33 find a husband? Well, you have your car break down in strategic places.

0:38 Read the obituaries to find eligible widowers. Sit on a park bench and

0:44 feed the pigeons. Become a nurse or an airline stewardess. They have very

0:49 high marriage rates. Be nice to everybody. They may have an eligible brother

0:54 or son. While you should be nice to everybody anyway unless they're not nice

0:58 to you. Be friendly to ugly men. Handsome is as handsome does.

1:03 Get lost at football games. Don't take a job in a company run largely

1:10 by women. Get a job demonstrating fishing tackle in a sportings goods store,

1:15 on a plane, train or a bus. Don't sit next to a woman,

1:19 sit next to a man. Don't be afraid to associate with more attractive

1:23 girls. They may have some leftovers. Oh my god, don't room with

1:29 a girl who is a sad sack and let her pull you down to her

1:33 level when traveling. When traveling, stay at small hotels where it's easier to

1:38 meet strangers. Listen. This was written in nineteen fifty eight, in the

1:42 year twenty and twenty three, which it is now, and this is probably

1:47 not the safest thing to do. Learn to paint, set up an easel

1:51 outside of an engineering school. How to let him know you are there.

1:57 Stumble when you walk into a room, Get discretion every once in a while

2:01 and call him up. Wear a band aid. People often ask what happened.

2:06 Make a lot of money. Oh my lord, dropping a handkerchief still

2:10 works. Act. I don't know if people even carry handkerchiefs anymore. If

2:15 you give it a try and it works, please let me know. Have

2:19 your father buy some theater tickets that have to be gotten rid of. Stand

2:23 on a corner and cry softly. Chances are good that he'll come over to

2:27 find out what's wrong, or somebody will call an ambulance. Don't let him

2:30 fish for your name the next time you meet. None of this. Guess

2:34 who's stuff. Buy a convertible. Men like to ride in them. Learn

2:38 how to bake tasty apple pies, Bring one into the office and let the

2:44 eligible bachelor's taste it. Laugh at his jokes. Accidentally have your purse fly

2:51 open, scattering its contents all over the street. Oh lord, okay,

2:55 how to look good to him? Men like to think their authorities on perfume.

3:00 Ask his advice on what kind you should wear. Actually, that's true.

3:06 All guys have a favorite scent most of the time when it comes to

3:09 women. I know when I met my husband, he was like, you've

3:12 got to get a bottle of poison. I personally can't wear it. It

3:15 gives me a headache. But to this day I have a full bottle of

3:17 poison on my shelf that I can't wear because he bought it for me because

3:21 he loves it so much. Anyway, get better looking glasses. Men still

3:25 make passes at girls who wear glasses or try contact lenses. Practice you're drinking

3:31 with your women friends first. If you dye your hair, pick a shade

3:37 and stick to it. Wear high heels. Most of the time they are

3:40 sexier unless he happens to be shorter than you. Although I don't know if

3:46 you're with a guy who's shorter than you, I'm sure he's still going to

3:49 think that high heels are sexy, so I wouldn't worry about that. Tell

3:53 him he's handsome. Take good care of your health. Men don't like girls

3:58 who are ill. Oh my goodness. If you look good in sweaters,

4:01 wear one on every third date. Get a sunburn, you know, skin

4:06 cancer is a thing. Okay, go on a diet if you need to.

4:12 I don't know. There's some guys who like a little meat on the

4:14 bone. All right. When you are with him, order your steak rare.

4:18 Don't tell him about your allergies, you know, because if you're allergic

4:21 to peanuts, you want to risk that catastrophe. European women use their eyes

4:28 to good advantage. Practice in front of a mirror. Buy a full length

4:31 mirror and take a good look before you go to greet him. Get that

4:35 fresh scrub look by scrubbing. In other words, shower once in a while.

4:41 I would agree with that one. Use the ash tray. Don't crush

4:44 out cigarettes and a coffee cup. Actually, don't smoke it all. Don't

4:47 be too fussy. Don't wine. Girls who wine, stay on the vine.

4:54 Unless you find a guy who whinds they're out there. Trust me,

4:57 I know. Show him you can have fun on a cheap date, but

5:00 don't overdo it. Don't let your parents treat him like a potential husband.

5:04 Double date with a gay, happily married couple. Let him see what it's

5:09 like. Send his mother a birthday card, Talk to his father about business

5:14 and agree that taxes are too high. On the first date, tell him

5:17 you are not thinking of getting married. Don't talk about how many children you

5:21 want. If he's a fisherman, learn to scale and clean a fish when

5:27 you're out strolling with him. Don't insist on stopping at every shop window.

5:30 Do not tell him how much your clothing costs. Learn to sew and wear

5:34 something that you made yourself, because you know every guy likes to see a

5:38 girl at a burlepsack. Find out about the girls who he hasn't married.

5:42 Don't repeat the mistakes they made. Be flexible. If he decides to skip

5:46 the dance and go rowing on a lake, go even if you're wearing your

5:48 best evening gown. Do people go rowing on a lake for dates anymore?

5:55 Turn wolves into husband material by assuming they have honor. I don't know what

6:00 that means. Make your home comfortable when he calls large ashtrays comfortable chairs.

6:04 This is clearly written in a time when people still smoked a lot. Learn

6:10 to play poker. If he's rich, tell him you like money. The

6:14 honesty will intrigue him, because everybody loves a gold digger. Never let him

6:18 believe your career is more important than your marriage. Don't tell dirty stories.

6:24 Stop being a mama's girl. Don't let him think that he'll have in law

6:28 trouble, even if you know he will. The cantankerous mother in law point

6:32 out to him that the death rate of single men is twice that of married

6:35 men. You know, because you need to be the voice of doom and

6:39 gloom. Here's some wild ideas on how to nail a man from nineteen fifty

6:43 eight. Go to Yale. Just go there, don't apply, Just go

6:46 get a hunting license. The next one is it's kind of weird. If

6:51 your mother is fat, tell him you take after your father. If he's

6:57 fat too, tell him you're adopted. My god, here we go stow

7:01 away on a battleship. What a way to land a husband, My goodness,

7:06 rent a billboard and post your picture and telephone number on it, because

7:10 everybody loves a desperate woman. Paint your name and number on your roof and

7:14 say give me a buzz pilots again, because everybody loves a desperate woman.

7:18 Start a whispering campaign on how sought after you are? So I assume a

7:23 whispering campaign is when you spread a rumor about yourself and it kind of catches

7:28 on. Okay, you want to become viral that you're single. I guess

7:32 ride the airport bus back and forth from the airport, because apparently eligible bachelors

7:36 travel a lot. Carry a camera and ask strange handsome men if they wouldn't

7:42 mind snapping your picture, Oh my god, make and sell to pays.

7:46 Bald men are easy catches. I don't know about you, ladies, but

7:51 honestly, I like a bald guy. I don't know how easy they are

7:55 to catch, because I have girlfriends and we talk and they also like so

8:01 I don't know about that. Let it be known in your office that you

8:03 have a button box, and we'll sew on any bachelor's loose buttons, because

8:07 again, everybody loves a desperate woman. Don't marry him if he has too

8:13 many loose buttons. What does that even mean? I don't get that anyway.

8:18 So that is just a few ways to get a husband according to nineteen

8:22 fifty eight standards. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you do,

8:28 like subscribe, leave a review. Whatever. We appreciate it. Have a

8:35 great day. Thank you.